Pinoy Wasteland

Nung hinire ako sa trabaho ko (di pa ako officially nagsa-start), irritable ako kasi ayokong tinatanong ako ng personal. Instead na final interview, feeling ko, under interrogation ako. Andaming tanong at medyo nagiging sarcastic na ako. At para sa isang tao na katulad ko na medyo mahaba yung pasensya naasar pa ako. Di ko inexpect na tatanggapin ako.

Pero tinanggap ako. Para sa isang call center, napaka-strikto nila. Kahapon habang nasa medical exam ako for pre-employment, may bumisita sa bahay at pumunta sa mga kapitbahay at kung anu-anong tinatanong. Aba! Parang nag-apply ako sa isang highly confidential government facility at napaka-thorough naman ng mga ito. Akala tuloy ng kapitbahay namin napakalaki ng magiging sweldo ko.

You wouldn’t believe all the forms I signed last Tuesday. It has more forms than a bank loan application. And let’s talk about the physical exam. I was really nervous about that, I was afraid that I may be sick or something. I haven’t visited a doctor for around six months.  This is the weird part.

Doc:First time mo ba magpa-rectal exam?

(I don’t like where this is going.)

jeeper:Uhuh.

(I had a first one but nobody touched me, I just spread my butt cheeks and that is it.)

I feel so violated! Huhuhu. I guess I have to do it then. Anyways, I don’t know how I looked when he told me that. Basta, masakit! It’s like one of those scenes you see in S&M movies (not like I have seen one nor do I have a predilection for that). You could stop imagining now. I said stop. STOP! STOP! If you are not yet stopping, FUCK YOU!

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PS

Panoorin nyo yung special ni Al Gore (Sya yung bet ko dati pero tinalo sya ni George “Kupal” W. Bush) tungkol sa climate change. Abangan nyo na lang sa HBO, di ko alam yung sked.