Pinoy Wasteland

I

Naisipan ko magpakalbo ulit. Sabi nila bagay. Mula nang magsara yung dati kong barber, iniiwasan ko magpagupit. Dapat kasi sa akin ay low-maintenance kasi tamad ako mag-ayos ng buhok. So goodbye bad hair days, goodbye hair!

I have this weird superstition. Minamalas ako for the rest of the month pagkatapos ko magpakalbo. I have expelled much of my superstitious beliefs when I was in college but was revived again due to a bunch of coincidentally unfortunate events.

That’s why nagpakalbo ako ng 31st, inisip ko if kalbo ako 9 hours before the month’s end, there will be less probability of getting major bad luck compared sa pagpapakalbo sometime in the middle or the beginning of the month. Sabi ko nga weird superstition.

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II

Kilala nyo si Amalthea?  Minsan nakaka-relate ako sa kanya. Lalo na lately. May eksena sa The Last Unicorn (kung saan bida si Amalthea), na nagtataka sya kung nasaan sya. Well, medyo self-absorbed si Amalthea. Kaya nga naiintindihan ko sya. Minsan natutulala ako sa trabaho.

Where am I? I knew a while ago but I forgot. I am here to do something. Oh, yes. You are my coworker, and I am in a call center. We are doing Technical Support. I am here because I have plans, I think I know… But I am not so sure anymore. Is this real? Am I somebody else. I have this dream I am someone else.

This, I say in my mind. Ayoko mapagkamalan na baliw! Hahaha!

I used to have a fairly good sense of identity but lately, I am losing myself. More than I would allow myself to. Am I changing? I don’t want to.

Sya nga pala pag familiar kayo sa The Last Unicorn. Basahin nyo ang Two Hearts, coda nung book and movie. Heart-wrenching para sa akin pero love ko tulad ng book at movie. I feel your pain, Prince Lir!

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III

Nabasa ko yung Metamorphosis ni Franz Kafka. Isang araw nagising ang isang lalaki at isa na syang malaking kulisap na pinandidirihan at ikinahihiya ng mismong mga tao na pinaghirapan nyang bigyan ng magandang buhay. Letse! Mahilig ako sa tragedy pero di ko kaya. Namatay syang naghahanap ng pagmamahal!

I have to admit it’s beautifully written, I was prepared of that. Harrowing para sa akin. Di ako nakatulog nung gabing iyon, paano kung maging isa akong kulisap.

This entry was posted on Tuesday, March 31st, 2009 at 7:31 pm and is filed under Books, Life, thoughts. You can follow any responses to this entry through the RSS 2.0 feed. You can leave a response, or trackback from your own site.