About two years ago, I realized that she loved me.
I went to my to finish my clearance in my first job and gave a mouthful to the HR. I stayed for the night in her apartment, while she goes to work that evening. I hardly slept that night.
She came home that morning, with a modest breakfast, two packs of pancit canton and bread rolls. I remember seeing how happy she was, I still have a mental image of her smiling.
I arrived home late.
The room that I shared with my brother is all mine now. He is getting married this month. I guess I felt a bit sad.
My brother and I, I guess, has gotten closer as we got older. Growing up, we never had much in common. He was fairly goodlooking, amiable, was popular in in school, engaged in sports… and I am not — just the opposite.
My mother got sad. I guess, she just realized how it’s like to have the nest being left. Boom! My brother’s not perfect but he’s far more affectionate than me.
He was the one with the biggest appetite.
I just have all my things in the room, my books that used to be lying on the floor are now in the shelves that he used to place his trash. Nobody will be borrowing my clothes anymore, I guess I’ll no longer be complaining that I haven’t seen my jacket for a long time now nor will I get irritated by him wearing the jeans that I like.
Nobody will be borrowing my computer anymore. And I could now sleep without hearing his loud snoring or his late arrival smelling like chico.
The room is surprisingly clean, I have to maintain it that way now coz I can no longer pass the blame on my brother.
It’s weird. I guess, I too am a bit sad.
That’s OK. Life has taught me to just pick up with what I have, and move on.
I wonder if he’s gonna give me something on my birthday. Probably, like always… wala!
It’s Meow’s birthday.
It’s always nice to know that in this depressing world, she is always there to remind me not to lose my way. Our relationship had rough beginnings. And when I say rough, I mean it was weird. For someone like me, people probably wouldn’t believe it. I was on the way to become one of those people. Jaded people who temporarily escape their frustrations by doing superficial things to fill the void inside their being.
Life can be pretty meaningless. I’d tell myself, it is up to us to make it meaningful. Easier said than done, I can sometimes forget that. I am not immune to feeling that hollowness. I get lonely too. It’s not the world that is depressing, it’s the people in the world that is depressing… making life depressing.
I was thinking, if I am not an academic and I hate corporate life, what should I do with myself? Kung pwede lang maging professional bum? I think that will work for me. Having a stay-at-home job requires discipline, which I don’t possess anyway. I am best suited for the bohemian life. Too bad I am not talented enough to come up with a brilliant painting or book once a year and then sell it for a LOT of money to sustain my lifestyle, which is pretty lavish in terms of the useless stuff that my money goes to.
I have been complaining about how I am not doing well at training. As it turns out my 76% score in voice accuracy was high considering that they only ask for 50% on actual production. Ang problema, madaming magaling sa kasama ko sa training. Oh, well. Like I always say, take everything in stride, come what may. I will do my best not to be a whiner. I am embarrassed to admit this but I am a whiner.
It’s raining outside, I am in no mood to go to work. The consolation I have is not working on Monday because of the US holiday. Inisip ko kung simulan ko na ngayon ang long weekend. But that can’t be.
Some of my coworkers don’t like our trainer. I have no idea. Dapat nga lumabas sa sariling mundo, huli ako lagi.
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Facbook is making me sick now. I hate people tagging me in ridiculous posts, I hate it more when people are actually commenting in those ridiculous posts, and I hate it MORE when a LOT of people are commenting in those ridiculously stupid post. It makes me realize that there are a lot of people who are so — to make a comment on that post. And what I hate MOST are the notifications on my email bulking up in my email. Jeez! I have more messages coming in from those ridiculous posts than my spam folders.
I had a bad week. Sya nga pala, minumungkahi ko na patugtugin nyo ito habang binabasa ang post na ito, yan yung nagpe-play sa utak ko habang nagmumukmok ako, medyo wala nga lang relasyon sa post ko ngayon…
I dedicate this song to everybody na nagmahal at nasaktan na may ganitong intensity… wala lang! Kunwari ako si Samson. Hahaha! Makapal ang mukha ko din…
[odeo=http://odeo.com/audio/8988253/view]
Bigla akong sumaya ngayon. Volatile ako emotionally at mabuti nga na di muna ako lumabas ng bahay at baka may mabiktima pa ako tulad ng PLDT Customer Service Representative.