Saturday, July 31, 2010 01:37

Archive for the ‘Life’ Category

Sleeping, the Watchmen and Facebook

Sunday, August 2nd, 2009

I wish I could go on living without sleep. There’s so many things I wish I could do  but time deprives me of that. I like sleeping, it makes me escape reality but I wish I had more time to do stuff. I want to write, read, draw, listen to music, create a website and watch television and movies.

But that can’t happen now… sadly.

I told this to Meow and she told me I shouldn’t, I might end up like one of  the Murakami characters from his short story Sleep (the only story in the book I lent her that she almost liked). I told her that, at least, I’d have beautiful skin despite the emotional withdrawal.

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Posted in Life, internet, movies | No Comments »

metamorphosis

Tuesday, March 31st, 2009

I

Naisipan ko magpakalbo ulit. Sabi nila bagay. Mula nang magsara yung dati kong barber, iniiwasan ko magpagupit. Dapat kasi sa akin ay low-maintenance kasi tamad ako mag-ayos ng buhok. So goodbye bad hair days, goodbye hair!

I have this weird superstition. Minamalas ako for the rest of the month pagkatapos ko magpakalbo. I have expelled much of my superstitious beliefs when I was in college but was revived again due to a bunch of coincidentally unfortunate events.

That’s why nagpakalbo ako ng 31st, inisip ko if kalbo ako 9 hours before the month’s end, there will be less probability of getting major bad luck compared sa pagpapakalbo sometime in the middle or the beginning of the month. Sabi ko nga weird superstition.

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Posted in Books, Life, thoughts | No Comments »

Piling up the books

Thursday, February 26th, 2009

Nanggaling kami ng Robinson’s Galleria ng kapatid ko, I ended up buying 4 more books. Sale kasi. Kahapon nakabili ako ng isa pang libro na mura (20 pesos lang naman).

The problem with me is I have too much books but I don’t have a space to stock them up. I end putting them in a big plastic box, takot ako sa paper kasi baka anayin. As of this writing, my catalogued books at librarything is 131. Yun ay ang mga naka-catalog, di ko pa iniisa-isa yung mga books ko. Di pa kasama ang libro ni meowy na hanggang ngayon nasa akin at ayaw niya pa kunin. Bumili ako ng plastic box. Isa… dalawa… tatlo pero parang kalabisan na ang isa pang plastik na kahon. Pinaka-alaga ko ay ang mga graphic novels dahil sila ang gusto ng insekto at nakatago sila dun sa isang plastic box. Sabi nila dapat ay ilagay ko sila sa protective sleeves pero parang di ba yun O.A./O.C.? (more…)

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This year…

Thursday, January 1st, 2009

Ang galing pala! I can still remember 1999, may mga taong concerned dati na baka magunaw na ang mundo pag tungtong ng year 2000. Ngayon 2009 na at di pa rin nagugunaw ang mundo. It seems just recently but the events in between seems so long ago. Tapos 26 years and 5 days old na ako.

I have to accept that I am not getting any younger, I still feel as idealistic as I was when I was 19. I still feel I am 19 but no! I am old. I think I have not taken my life seriously and I am just following the tide.

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Busy or something like that

Wednesday, May 14th, 2008

I hardly have time to go online these days. I check my mail and that is it. I hardly bloghop and there’s a lot of unfinished webdrafts to do (makes you wonder why I am not paid to do this).

I am on my second week at work. Still, I find myself alone. And again, I build my popular reputation of being a quiet, passive guy.

I think I am going brain-dead again. And I only blame myself. I shall buy a book this weekend.

I have so many ideas but too lazy to write them.

Rain falls outside, finally. My lover is gong crazy over rubik’s cube. I would need to have my ears irrigated, it’s starting to get gross.

I think my life is no longer as compartmentalized as it used to. It’s a bit scary. My system has been broken by getting into a relationship. Good or bad? I am not sure, but it feels good, mostly. And that’s the scary part.

 

 

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All I ask

Wednesday, April 2nd, 2008

It’s tough to look for a job. They are calling me for Tech Support jobs. I am reluctant because if I do tech support again, I am afraid that I will be doing that for the rest of my life. All I want is a job that I will really love and be proud of. Is that too much to ask for? If it wasn’t for my family, I wouldn’t care about compensation. I just want a nice job…

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Do I speak malalim?

Tuesday, October 2nd, 2007

I am not sure. But my co-workers say that my Filipino is deep.

It’s not that I hate to speak malalim na Pinoy pero ewan ko di ko napansin. So, inisip ko malalim ba talaga ako mag-tagalog kasi sa totoo lang feeling ko hindi. Nakakaaliw na isipin. Pero minsan masarap mag-quip na tipong, Ako ay naligayahan na ikaw ay makadaumpalad OR Napakabait mo naman para gawin yan para sa akin ng bukal sa iyong puso at walang pag-iimbot. Pero pagdating naman sa regular conversation na di ako nagpapabibo, normal Pinoy lang.

Minsan feeling ko nagiging maarte na ako. kasi mga kasama ko may kasamang arte ang pagsasalita kay I make extra effort na di maging maarte magsalita. Letse kasi ang magtrabaho sa call center. Mga close friends ko dito, ganun din ang stand sa Taglish.

Minsan may nagtanong sa akin kung sa Antipolo ba malalim magsalita ng tagalog ang tao. Noong araw na buhay pa ang lola ko, alam ko may kalaliman pero ngayon hindi na! Marami na rin maarte magsalita dito. Parents ko malalim magsalita ng Tagalog kung iisipin n’yo. Dad ko kasi (somehow that sounds so coñotic, Hahaha!) tunay na taga-Antipolo tapos nanay ko na tubong Pampanga parang na-acquire na lang yun. I am not sure baka como mga dukha lamang kami at kami ay matatas magsalita ng Tagalog although feeling ko basic lang talaga.

Ewan ko sa mga tao kung bakit naging malalim ang word na karatula. Kesa naman sabihin ko na Nakita ko sa Karatula na meron doong daan, I think it wouldn’t sound nice if I say nakita ko sa signboard or di ko lang namamalayan. Like the word lumuwas that I use when I will be going on to a long trip, I could have said umalis but I like using the word for long trips.

I am thinking baka malakas na talaga ang influence ng ibang language sa atin, nagiging archaic na yung dati ay considered regular words.

Like I always say, dito lang ako sa Internet pa-English-english ano? Baka pagtawanan pa ako ni Kuya! And despite my hostility against some parts of Filipino culture and the politics here, I am still Filipino, a proud one.

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Improvement?!

Thursday, September 13th, 2007

This week’s been a long one. Next week, I am gonna be nocturnal again. Work starts at 5:15 PM. Yun na ang pinakamalapit sa mga sked namin na medyo sisikatan ka pa nga araw na na-i-offer sa akin. Some people think I am isolating myself. It’s one reason but sunshine has to be one of the primary reasons. And I want to hang out with my friends who are on the same/near shifts.

I guess I really have been pushing myself to be more sociable. There were instances that I feel I am holding back, and I felt sure that I was. Or maybe I am too shocking for them that even when held back, nakakaloko ako.

I was drinking with some colleagues (I chose the word coz it sounds much more professional, hehehe), Mako, one of them told me that it is an improvement that I actually talk now. Oh, how so few people know me. They still haven’t heard me giving a diatribe. It was fun to drink with co-workers because… uh, I like to drink and I love to… drink and drink some more. PERIOD. I am on my way to becoming an alcoholic.

It may be considered an improvement, I really wanted to be friendly and have a lot of people surround me, my few friends had been pushing me to mingle with people. And I did (or almost something like it)!

Somehow, being with a lot of people keeps me preoccupied from my not-so-normal thoughts and think more about normal things like setting goals and all that stuff that I wasn’t really thinking much of. It should be OK except when I miss thinking of not-so-normal things like last night I was thinking about the what would make the world a better place and I came to the conclusion that only human extinction as the only answer. Matagal namahing ang brain cells ko, dahil puro ako trabaho at inuman ang inaatupag ko. But despite of that, some people are scared of me. It’s kinda cool in a way. May natatakot pa pala sa akin kahit feeling ko sobrang bait ako. And I thought they think of me as nice, kahit ako naguguluhan sa iniisip nila sa akin. O baka nagugulahan lang sila sa akin, lalo na nang nagsalita na ako. There are times that I get disoriented by all the things I hear. I learned that I know a lot of things that they don’t know, and I know so little of things that they all know (and I oughta know).

So this is how being almost sociable feels like.

It’s not that I am more sad. I’ve always been sad. If I get happy then that’ll be fun. I am just not happy. My other friends think mag-chicks daw dapat ako. Huh? OK. Parang may papatol. At kawawa naman ang papatol. Aminado naman ako na takot ako sa relasyon.

Susunod kong project yung pag-gi-gym. O yan! seryoso na talaga ito. Talagang mag-e-enroll na ako sa gym. Unless I get scared again.

My friends ask me if I am with them coz a lot of times I am absent-minded. Maybe this is my first steps to being with them.

In all this chaos, I wish I have someone to tell me everything’s okey. It’s pathetic that I still think of her.

Posted in Life, preoccupations | No Comments »

Change and setting goals

Saturday, November 18th, 2006

INTJ – “Mastermind”. Introverted intellectual with a preference for finding certainty. A builder of systems and the applier of theoretical models. 2.1% of total population.

Free Jung Personality Test (similar to Myers-Briggs/MBTI)

I decided to take another exam a different one from the last one I took many months ago, and surprise, surprise, di na ako INTP, INTJ na. I am no longer percieving, judging na “daw”, doon sa nakuha kong results… 6% lang yung lamang ng J sa P. Pero OK lang siguro yun at least nagkaroon ng development sa personality ko. Change is good they say, I am not sure if I really exhibit all the charactersitics of this personality type.

It’s strange that the description they have of me is a person who is into systems while I do not have any structure in my life at this point. Parang labas nyan manipulative ako, di naman.

I wonder where the change came from, maybe from talking too much on the phone. Being coerced to be surrounded with people. A lot of people still say that I am a bit antisocial (maybe more than a bit), pag kakain ako ayoko sa lugar na maraming tao, ayoko pa rin pumupunta sa mall ng hapon dahil ayoko ng matao. And I am working with people bein in Technical Support, yeah, I am crammed into this worksatation where you are a feet away from another person… medyo oblivious daw ako sa mundo and you spend hours talking to people and help them use their PC. Sabi nila maraming pulitika sa call center, wala akong alam kasi kahit mga Operations Manager di ko alam ang pangalan, minsan nakakatabi ko na pala di ko napapansin. So malabo yata akong ma-promote.

So what will become of me? My team Leader’s bugging me to make a goal. Goal to have a higher position since he heard I have no goal (from my really talkative friends). And I do feel ashamed that I have no goals. So, I’ll think about it. I am such a pitiful fool. I am soon turning 24, and I have nothing, nothing, nothing! Agh!

Posted in Life, Self | 8 Comments »