Work is still the same, reason why I hate it.

I just realized something really common with people who have some degree of intelligence, not to say that they truly are, but people who have above-average intelligence, they are typically stubborn. Meaning, they think they are really smart. It is hard to argue with them. They don’t like people questioning what they thought about and it’s sad. Really.

At least for myself, I admit I am stubborn. I  hate self-important people who can’t let go, and who pretends they are not.

It is fairly irritating when they say “correct me if I am wrong;” then, you say they are wrong, and as hard as you try to make a logical point, thay say NO like I shouldn’t be arguing. Pakyu! Kung di lang ako magkakaproblema pag sinagut-sagot kita!

That is the sad thing about work. I need to get out of there someday. I think I want to hang out with people who admit their faults.

Oh yes. Some time ago, I was bored at work and I tried to read something not so conspicuous with non-work-related activities, and I ended reading an ebook written by no other than Marlene Aguilar. It is available on her website.

Yes. I was that bored. But worry not, I stopped reading it after a few pages in Chapter 1. The last thing I want is to be one of those fanatical Jason Ivler supporters.

All I have to say is that she can write well (and well does not mean GOOD), compared to the crap they publish these days.

If you are feeble-minded, you can be easily swayed by Aguilar’s accounts. She said somewhere, they are geniuses “daw.” People scoff at the idea. She is an artist, blah-blah-blah.

I never thought of her as crazy as most people say. She’s just as stubborn and self-important as you and me who think highly of themselves, whose morals and logic is confined to emotions and what is most convenient to those that matter, mainly, in her case, herself.

Too much angst in my life right now. I think I need a little dose of happiness.

I have these planned projects to do. I have work. I have people to meet up with. I have a job. And I want to have time for myself, alone. So if any of you happens to know a bar, where a person can drink silently and not look like someone looking for sex, tell me about it. I want to have time alone

Sometimes, I get bored, yes, but why do they have to make all these stuff going on at the same time?

Kinukulit ako ng supervisor ko na pumunta sa teambuilding. Medyo makulit sya, she’s a nice person, I think, pero medyo makulit. Dahil yata sya ang organizer.

Medyo mahirap kasi ipaliwanag na I don’t want to go because I have a life and that extra day without work can make up for so many things, like sleep and other priorities.

I mean, I hear that team work is a big part of our appraisal, but I have a good working relationship with everybody there, I would like to think. I don’t see the necessity to be in Lake Caliraya to play parlor games to prove that.

I am thinking of a good excuse. Limnophobia (being specific) or Demophobia (partially true).  Maybe by telling them I am an environmentalist, who opposes exploitation and commercialization. Then they may argue, Lake Caliraya is a man-made lake. And I answer that that makes it worse. Then they will tell me Americans did it, and then I tell them I oppose what it represents.

I think I am addicted to Fantasy Kingdoms. I just bought a faerie dragon. It looks like a purple dragon with butterfly wings. I dont like the color that much but a dragon is nice, nonetheless.

Anyways, Farmville is boring and has stopped being fun when it became a chore. And it’s so darn complicated now. I mean I have a life and it takes too much from me, watching over so many things. The only thing that keeps me visiting it is the dog.

I think it is nicer to enchant land and build castles and harvest Eyes of Newt, Cattails, Mandrake and Snapdragons among other things.

Someday, I will get bored with it, too, just like almost every other application on social networking websites.

I am always in no mood lately. Now that the elections is drawing close, I am always in no mood. People are talking about politics a lot. I admit I talk about it when I get the chance but I talk about other stuff, like there are more things  to life. Politics is never a filler for silent and awkward moments. Talk about politics gets me worked up, because I have strong opinions on people that I don’t necessarily want to talk about. Not because I am shy, but because I get into trouble with it. And because I hate them all.

Together with religion, politics is something you don’t talk about with people you are not close to. And even if you are close to people, it still could get into an argument. Like there are times I want to hit people when they just won’t shut up.

I can be tolerable with people with different opinions, I just don’t appreciate it when they shove it up my narrow-minded brain. I’ve come to an age when I don’t feel like being argumentative at topics as pointless as politics, not meaning to make it sound unimportant because it is, it’s just an argument that could go on and on…. and I’ve grown apolitical.

And it pisses me more when people make you feel you’re stupid to think otherwise. And I will wholeheartedly agree and laugh a diabolic laughter, just to get into their nerves. Everybody thinks that what they believe is true and better. I am no different. I think so, only to myself.

People think that because I am goofy and act ridiculous makes me immature. Some people don’t get it, unlike some who sugarcoats their words with assertiveness and contradictory patriotism, I will not pretend. I will not wear a Filipino statement shirt, I don’t need that. I just do my part.

I know I am not good with words. Maybe in writing, I am somewhat OK; orally, I am less. When I am passionate or angry, I have many thoughts rushing through my head, and I end up not saying anything. Typically, I don’t care what others think.

The best times to argue with me is when I am not in the mood, when I am an asshole and defense comes naturally to me. Wit becomes instinctive and sarcasm comes from even my expression. It irritates people.

Meow has a good excuse for not voting  next week, I don’t. And even if I am in no mood to vote,  I still would.

People sicken me almost as much as those politicos do.

You know how they say if things are not working well for you, something good is about to happen. Something good better happen! I lost the jacket I had for three years, I miss it a lot. I am broke. I am poor, it is not funny, not even remotely close to amusing.

Then I login to this post and see 45 spam messages. I need some cheering up.

I will not be one of those businessmen who would greedily put ridiculously high prices to signed books, because I won’t sell signed books. I am, after all, selling the things inside the book.

If I were rich I would also have a nice diner or cafe. Not those pricey restaurants, just a one-man (maybe two or three, max) diner that sells really good food in a quiet corner of the city. It will play good, peaceful music. Maybe it will have a little stage for book reading, small performances (like puppet shows or stuff like that) or whatever the people eating there wants. But they are not allowed to do anything vulgar. It would be a nice place where strangers can play scrabble or chess, card games maybe, as long as there’s no money involved. I would like that a lot.

I also want to have a nice bar. The bar that I always wanted, where there is not much noise and where I can drink alone and I won’t be out of place, and nobody cares if I look like in deep shit or just wanna have a nice time alone because they have better things to do on their own. I want a clean and quiet place, but still interesting that there are many things to see while in the haze of intoxication.  That would be a nice bar where I can drink and won’t be irritated by loud group of people without any fears of getting in the hair of those antagonistic people looking for a quick lay. Maybe I should play opera or jazz music to keep them away.

These places would have nice interiors, not anything flamboyant, it would be cozy and quaint.

I would want that. Everybody’s welcome, they can go even if  they don’t buy anything. They just have to respect each other and genuinely want to be there.

I wish I had these places. But that won’t happen because I don’t have money. Hahaha!

In the end, the whole signing event, the craziness, the irritating people, the disparaging emotions that came precedent to an anticlimactic conclusion, I was glad that I’ve put up with it. Not totally a disappointment, but more of an experience that I learned a lot from. This might be the last book signing I’d go to, or the last in a long time.

It’s not the writer’s fault. I just realized that for many reasons, I did not belong there. I am unlike them, the crowds that went.

She had eyes like for the chinita types, but it was too big for her nose (that was very Filipino, a Filipino nose in a nice way). It is funny how we are all made to think of standards, maybe she is beautiful in some cultures. And I blame globalization.

We have talked  about beauty in length last weekend, maybe suitable for another post.

OT yesterday, OT the other day, OT pretty much everyday. I am beginning to hate this job. It is tough when you render overtime, and they don’t give you a good score for that. Imagine a call with foreign speakers¹, and you are working on something from a Pharmaceutical industry, with eight speakers you need to correctly tag with the right names (five of which were not properly introduced), verifying names of analysts, terminologies and testing terms of almost indiscernible pronunciation. Now that’s tough!

That is my life, of course, it’s not always that bad but it can be very tiresome. Deadlines to meet, re-eds to do, making sense of words, and cutting and splicing text. I am not sure how I wound up with this job.

I realized that I am quite comfortable writing just for the sake of writing, maybe I really have matured from the blogger of five years ago who would bloghop, just for them to pay me a visit. At age 27, I think that’s not that bad. Not one of the people from my blogroll back then, what I’d call the Golden Age of Blogging,  is active in the blogsphere anymore.

This post ends here.

1. I love them but it is hard to transe them

In the episode I saw, Kevin Arnold is partnered with weird girl Margaret, the unpopular type that we all have in school. He realized she’s pretty cool even if “She asks too many questions, has a pet bat, and wears her hair in three pig tails (because you never know when you’re going to need a hair tie)”¹ .

OK! He was not a role model here, but there were episodes that he was, he was more like an asshole. He usually isn’t and I hated him here (coming from the lower end of the social chain in HS), but this episode teaches us something. He wants to be secret friends with her, which hurts Margaret, and his inability to do anything haunts him.

It really affected me. Maybe because I watched The Wonder Years as a kid. Teenagers now have Miley Cyrus, Bella Swan² and Gossip Girl³ characters as role models, which is really no surprise that kids are the way they are now.

They don’t make TV shows like that anymore. Bring on the sex! So I hear those producers say.

Moving on. Tayong mga Pinoy (or sila lang), ina-idolize si Pacquiao. I ask people, do hitting people bring honor to our country? Gumanda ba ang ekonomiya, may tinulong ba yan sa buhay ng maraming tao? I still maintain that I hated TV news that dedicated 30 minutes of airtime to him, while during that time, Reynaldo Punongbayan⁴ died just about the same time in 2005. He has been offered jobs abroad but he loved this country.

And how come we don’t give credit to people like Dr. Amador  Muriel, now that’s someone we can be proud of. He has a molecular theory in “Quantum Disturbance.” Di ako physicist, but it is something to be proud of. And I am proud.

Oh well.

1. Progressive Boink
2. the Twilight girl with the very weak personality and predilection for creepy and possessive vampires and werewolves
3. TV show with promiscuous teenagers with little time to study but has a lot of time fornicationg than some twenty-something people I know
4. he was then the head of PHIVOLCS and saved thousand of lives when Mt. Pinatubo erupted with his foresight about the situation, despite the skepticism many had

I think I want to be back in the time when we are trained my a master craftsman, be a novice and work your way up until you get to be called a Master, because you have become worthy.

We work then we see a large deduction on our pay slip, ridiculously large coz the government feels we need to pay that much for being a Filipino. I am enjoying being a Filipino right now.

One reason I am scared of having children is that they will grow up in a lawless world, amoral and without conscience. It would work for me, except that most of the people here are characteristically stupid, lame and plain disgusting, just making an excuse to justify their cravings of lust and oter things I find gross.

And there’s the chance that by the time I get to have a kid, I am always at my wit’s end asking whether the world’s end is near.Not being a fanatical, like one of those people I detest, but looking at the weather todaay and man’s continuous downward spiral and tendency for self-destruction, I think it may just be near. The world’s end is near, we’ll be suffocating due to bad air or drowned by flood or die due to hypothermia or freaking heat stroke.

Spare the religious diatribe, I am not religious. I am not even religious, and here I am blabbering about the world’s end and the decadence of Man. I need to go out.

I need a vacation!

We had this really great buffet breakfast and we had plenty of pictures. It’s not everyday that you get to be in a five-star hotel. So lumabas ang ka-jologs-an namin. The people there are nice. From the reservation desk when I called to everybody there, from the front desk even to the chefs.

I owe it all to Xandee and Shamie who sold the GC for three thousand pesos!

But all good things come to an end. We have to leave that nice place.

I just got confirmation that I passed the screening for freelance work. I will work on that tomorrow. I wonder what topic to choose. I tend to be dull and uninteresting if I find the topic dull. If all goes well, I may consider doing it full-time.

I’ve been watching a lot of anime. Naruto us still fun to see. I also saw Dragon Hunters, a nice french film. I loved it so much, you should see it.

I also have Coraline and Ponyo to finish.

I hope that everything goes well next year. Hoping, it will be a better one.