Pinoy Wasteland

One time, someone asked me if I could speak bad English. “Why?” I looked at her, confused. She said I sounded konyo.

Now, I am not sure if I should take this as a compliment or an insult. First, I am too poor to be coño; secondly, I do not want people to think I am coño; third, pang-masa kaya ako; and fourth, I speak advanced Filipino, my vocabulary of Filipino might not be as good as my Dad’s but in comparison with kids these days, they scratch their heads sometimes.

Then, to be asked to say something incorrectly, because I sounded konyo could be (a) ang galing ko lang mag-English; (b) pinagti-tripan ako; (c) binobola ako; (d) makita kung natural din ako sa sablay na English; or (e) all of the above.

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Oh, I hate my life right now.

Just logged in after some time, the elections was a disappointment, not that I was expecting different… but since I started voting, I hate what the outcome was always.  It actually made me cry, seriously. I hate all of them ALL OF THEM. Sana magkaroon ng convention lahat ng politiko sa isang lugar at bagsakan nawa sila ng BULALAKAW.

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Today, I rendered 2 and a half hours of overtime, working on another lousy transcript. I don’t mind working for 8 hours without rest, O just don’t like OT’s. I don’t like it when people are leaving and you see strangers from the evening shift sitting beside you. Then, the thought of being in line for an FX ride, today 40 minutes, then the hour-ride home, cramped in an awkward sitting position with stinky people.

I can endure that if I have the knowledge that I can spend more time sleeping, reading, browsing the Internet and stuff like that. I have hardly no time for myself anymore. And I love my ALONE times!

Your supervisor tells you to not compromise the quality of my work. I say, “OK.”

Anyways, sitting there, irritated and cranky, I try to relax, take deep long breaths, stop thinking of anything home-related… it works for a while then I get angry again. Repeat: relax, take long deep breaths,  stop thinking of anything home-related…. repeat as necessary.

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I am so lonely at work. Hay! Wala akong kaibigan….

I am trying to cheer myself up, I have always been a loner. Maybe it’s pressure. With training at work, we are left to work independently with minimal supervision. Kaya siguro ganoon kakaiba yung exams namin dati. Voicewriting is tiring. We are left to practice and everybody is practicing because EVERYBODY  needs to practice and it is not like High School and college because we need to be really good because we all want this job.

I have been getting these really nasty dreams. I guess I am not really built to work in a call center, office or anything that has corporate associated with it.

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I have not signed the contract yet, scheduled on the latter part of the month. I am now leaving the call center that has a very circadian sounding name for a BPO company that sounds very smart and is a division of the company that also publishes those imported, heavy textbooks you hate carrying in college.

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