Now, I am able to earn 300 pesos for five 500-word articles. Not very much, I know.

I downloaded way too many eBooks. I want to read them all, but I can’t due to my job. I badly need an eBook reader, a really cheap one.

My laptop is working against me. I need a new one. But I love this one, still.

While I was looking for Peter S. Beagle stories, which is hard to find in bookstores, I stumbled upon something about a Last Unicorn rave. Geeks know how to party. See This.

Three rooms of music and fantasy! Why aren’t there parties like that here?!

I am glad that I was able to read books again. I think it’s been months since last I was able to read books.

I was able to finish Carl Hiaasen’s Hoot. Funny book. No, it was a hilarious book that had one of the things I like — weird characters. I always enjoy a book with weird (or damaged, either one) characters.

While waiting for Meow last Sunday, I dropped by NBS. Again, di ko napigilan ang aking sarili at napabili ako ng graphic novel ulit. Yung Madame Xanadu: Vol.1 Disenchantment.

I was torn between that or Mr. Punch (by one of my favorite writers) but because I felt the need for something else, I chose Madame X. LOL.

There are times while reading the Xanadu novel that she got vey annoying but she learned her lesson in the ending well… while it lacked the luster that I was hoping. Pwede na. The art was really nice.

Going to Hoot. That book was funny. And because I love animals, I’d higly recommend it. It has lots of quirky, interesting people.. and like I keep on saying, it is funny. It was intended to be a children’s book but I still think it’s good even for an adult. I think Roy’s dilemma still applies to all of us.

Now currently reading Uncle Petros and Goldbach’s Conjecture  by Apostolos Doxiadis. It’s interesting yes. I have been into light reading lately.

Everytime I read a good book, I feel I want to be a writer. Yup. I think I could be a writer, not a good one but a writer nonetheless. There’s plenty of mediocre writers out there like Aling Stephenie (the world likes) and Kuya Bob (that Filipinos love) who capture what the masses (who appears to have not read many quality books in their lives) want, hence, becomes successful.

So I can be a mediocre writer, and hopefully be rich. Hahaha!

He saw another path where gold seemed to be more abundant.Yes, he sold himself to a merchant. A merchant who seem to promise him wisdom, His name was synonymous to Solomon. The Tyrant and his minions never stopped him. On his last day, he did his best to make the most with those foreign trolls and relished his time with the ones who seem to be more clever than average. He looked at his fellow captives and will miss them terribly. Diligent people who seem to drink barrels of intoxicants. He turned his back and never looked back.

He rested for a week before he journeyed to the Emerald Avenue and climbed the Golden Tower where he met the Dragon. The Dragon is a capricious animal, it is supposed to be his ally but did not understand him well.  He trained the Dragon relentlessly, much to his frustration. Patience is a virtue Jeeper does not possess, he sat there and watched  his fellow apprentices do their work, using their own techniques to tame their own dragons.

Our mentor introduced us to Total Eclipse, a way to make our Dragons understand us better. Now it did make sense, but the Dragon still makes it difficult for him. Will he pass or fail? Jeeper stopped caring.

He waited… averting his eyes. His inadequacies has not bothered him for so long now it bugs him. It consumes him now.

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P.S. I used a lot of metaphors related to work.  It would be hard to decipher if you have no idea of what I am talking about.

It’s one of my girlfriend’s brilliant ideas.

We were in a bookstore looking at books. “Bakit hindi kaya tayo magsulat ng pocketbook?”

Browsing along through the lengthy row of pinoy pocketbooks (yung mga 30-50 pesos), we were laughing at the covers and the frequent use of Taglish. So ganun pala ang uso ngayon sa Filipinong Panitikan ngayon.  Sabi ni Meow, may mga estudyante na nagsusulat ng pocketbook bilang panustos sa kanilang pag-aaral nung college siya.

You can actually submit stories and it can be published. I remember when I want to cheer up my female friends after fighting with their lovers.

Magkikita kayo sa mall. Tapos magtitigan kayo pero di mo siya papansinin, pero kinikilig ka na…. hahabulin ka nya sa escalator. “Mahal mo pa ba ako?” Pero sasabihin mo, “huli na ang lahat…” Tatalikod siya ng nakababa ang ulo pero di mo siya natiis at sinundan mo siya! And plenty more  horrid details using ridiculous cliches that they always found amusing. Magsulat daw ako ng pocketbook!

So, why not try?

May naisip na ako na nom de plume. Komento ni Meow parang mga pangalan lang ng mga contestant na sasali sa gay beauty pageant, they actually remind me of porn stars (or boldstar names). I thought of the sluttiest name conceivable. Friends I have told it to laughed out loud. Pokpok daw ang dating. Nakakahiya siguro aminin if matapos at i-publish  yung kalokohan na sinusulat ko.

So I took into consideration the readership of Pinoy Romance novels. It has to be easy to read and a bit sappy. I can be sappy! I am good at being sappy. Gumnamit din ako ng Taglish, gumamit din ako ng mga kakaibang pangalan, gumawa ako ng mga glamorosang characters na mahilig mag-Taglish and for a 4-page unfinished draft, I have to admit it was juicy if you’re into melodrama and stuff.

I created a story in my mind, and I was able to write continuously. I guess the hardest part was trying to describe sexual attraction from a woman’s perspective. It was weird. Really weird, I felt I was not myself anymore.

So I stopped writing. I think I am too old to develop any more alter egos lalo na kung isang lovelorn woman, and I used to think I am sensitive and in touch with the feminine side.

I had Meow read the story, she was not able to finish it. She told a friend it was funny but judging from her expession, she was cringing. It was a far cry from the unpublished speculative fiction that I attempted writing. As she cringed, it crossed my mind. I think I am gonna be good at it. I guess I have little bit more respect to romance writers. I think I am gonna fare better with Pinoy erotica. Siguro pag wala na lang talaga akong magawa.

I should not expect too much. I always get disappointed.

I still feel tired and hardly slept last night. Stupid shift changes…

I told myself that I will spend less but I am still weak. I can’t help myself.

We were in the bookstore, I found this box labeled Rudraksha, I was wondering what’s in it. It was heavy, if you shake it, I can hear chimes. It was on sale and 90% was slashed from its original Php 1,000+++. Being the impulsive consumer that I am, despite my tight budget, I bought it.

I opened it and found smelly reddish beads stringed together like a large necklace. I later learned that Rudraksha came  from trees and you can gain spiritual wisdom (sabi ng pamphlet), so I thought this was better than buying other bead necklaces. I don’t know if it is authentic. Pampalakas pa daw ng chakra! Parang si Naruto lang di ba? The chiming sounds came from a bell that came with the box. I still need to inspect it, it has other stuff in it like a yellow scarf with Indian design on it, incense sticks and holder, other stuff that I cannot make out. I should read the booklet soon. I will do some serious meditating on Saturday when we check in the hotel.

My girlfriend thought it looks nice as a bracelet coiled several times when I am wearing a nice T-shirt. I think it makes me look like a spiritual rocker. Something that I am not! The website says it should not be worn as a bracelet.

Oh, well.

I wore it today as a necklace under my sweatshirt, it left a yellowish stain on my tees.

I also bought Robert A. Heinlein’s The Moon is a Harsh Mistress. I have read his short stories and loved some of them. Sorry, Chuck Palahnuik. Next time na lang kita bibilhin.

I am reading a graphic novel adapted from Macbeth. Shakespeare was really ahead of his time. The art itself may not be that impressive but the story staying true to the original was enough to make it a fine read.

I wish that I can be able to make time to read. Maybe a month dedicated to catch on my reading, serious reading. That would be in a comfortable, quaint little house where the temperature is nice and cool. I would like that. Very much. Not working for a month… that sounds too good to be true. Ain’t gonna happen.

I received an email a couple of weeks back about Yahoo briefcase closing. Kaya dinownload ko na yung mga files ko doon and I am reminded of how silly my projects were. I am not in the habit of making lengthy preparations for written reports. Puro rush.

May mga files mula ng second sem at summer ng third year ko noong college. Andoon yung research ko sa mga reports, projects, kaunting drafts pati mga files ng mga pinaagkitaan ko na essays for sale. And looking at it in retropect, I wonder how I get good grades on written reports.

Isa doon ang activity report ko sa OJT ko nung nasa JFC ako under sa Network Development Management. Yung una kong OJT sa isang BPO company, masaya kasi parang regular employee kami sa Human Resources pero yung pangalawa puro clerical work at ito ang mga nakalagay na tasks ko na pinaganda ko yung words. Letse! Kalokohan palang malaki yung activity report ko. Eto isang portion (copied and pasted):

DUTIES AND RESPONSIBILITIES

1. Data Encoding

2. Document Management

3. Document Duplication

4. Document Disposal

5. File Recognition Attachment

6. Incoming Message Screening

7. Message/Communications Delivery

8. Clerical Work

Translation:

1. Taga-type

2. Taga-file

3. Taga-photocopy

4. Taga-shred

5. Taga-sort ng mga papeles na tinambak at pagsasamahin ko yung files na magkakapareho, at i-staple yung mga nahiwalay na pages

6. Taga-sagot ng telepono

7. Taga-abot nga papeles sa kabilang department

8. Dagdag bullet lang para maraming ginagawa (in other words, all of the above)

Marami pang nakalagay sa activity report ko at magugulat kayo kung paano ko napahaba ng ganun yung report.

————

So, I will miss yahoo briefcase. Thank you for the wonderful memories!

I really want to be writer, it is a dream I have. I mentioned of me applying for a staff writer position for the country’s leading men’s lifestyle magazine (It’s not hard to guess the mag, isn’t it?) on my last post.  What have I got to lose? Nothing! I am the least person you’ll expect to apply for the company.

So I was shortlisted  for an interview… I attribute that for using word taboo on my initial application through the web. I may be wrong but that’s the only reason I can imagine. I made some preparations… I brought some of my sample works (more like edited and upgraded versions of my more outstanding posts) that I hope will extensively show my range as a writer. I have been expecting a formal interview which will challenge me as being a novice and yes, I have expected it to eventually dabble on the topic of sex. It is, after all, a men’s magazine.

So dressed up in one of my best get up (a bit conscious that I wore my high-cut military green sneakers with my business casual attire) I went to their offices and realized that this is only the third time I applied for a non-call center job (the others are course-related that I turned down) and the first from this industry.

I fought the nerves.

I was ushered to a room… and I waited. The interviewer brought me some paper. I was excited; I knew if it were IQ, English or Math exams, I am confident I will do quite better than most. It was just a 2 page paper which inquires of my lifestyle as far as style, sex, alcohol, recreation and other manly activities. A bit disappointed but I think since I am applying for a writer post for a men’s magazine, they can test my ability to reply to questions about masturbation, prostitution and stuff.

Anyway, the interview revolved mostly about sex and the questions that I have rehearsed had no value to the occasion. And the sample works had very little relevance to the job requirement. I should have been told earlier. I would have written something about sex that will blow their minds away. Seriously.

Like I said, it was an interview that lasted a long time which really squeezed me of opinions I have of sex. Pero in fairness, may tanong naman about socially relevant issues like sex and divorce (pro-choice ako). It was a bit awkward in the beginning. Then I thought, You want to talk about sex, let’s talk about sex! Ordinarily, what I said would have shocked people especially with my wholesome reputation with most people. Hahaha! But you know what? This is a guy who talks about sex all the time. So what I said may have been mundane. I mean, what is there to be ashamed of? I will not be accepted anyway and this may be the last time I will see this person. I was very comfortable talking, surprisingly!

So I talked about the most adventurous things I have done. How I rate my self sexually (I gave myself a nine!).

He said something that I strike him as a decent-looking person but what I said was unexpected, I suppose. I talked about porn, of how I like some friction with masturbation and other stuff I will NEVER tell most people.

Oh well. I did tell him  how I lost my virginity at a later age.

“With your first girlfriend I suppose?”

“No,” I answered nonchalantly (or maybe I sound offended), “through YM. I got tired of being a virgin.”

I doubt I will get another interview. The geek and dork in me can’t help himself from saying I like staying at home and read books. Plus my tendency to say things to make myself appear highly intelligent by making cross references to literature. I don’t think MALIBOG ako enough to be part of the company.

If I knew what it was all about, I would have prepared more. And to think I have been reading Interview guides from Yale and Carnegie!

Most of the time I get very angry when I get rejected at work. This one. I actually enjoyed, it’s something I can laugh about and tell my friends.

—————————

PS

With all the talk of picking up yesterday, I was reminded that I was planning to read Neil Strauss‘s THE GAME: PENETRATING THE SECRET SOCIETY OF PICKUP ARTISTS. Nag-download ako! At masarap pala makinig ng mga tugtugin ng ASIN.

This post is inspired thanks to Jennifer’s comment and post.

I have been a blogger since January 2005. That is a long time. Bloggers come and go and sometimes I wonder why I am still here. Back in the day, most people don’t know what a blog is. Now there are more bloggers.

Back in the day, mostly geeks write blogs. Back then, there were few Filipinos who write. Now people write blogs, to monetize, to join the bandwagon or because celebrities do it among  other things. I write for reasons that I think most people do. Because it is nice to write. Because I love to do what I do. I was in college back then when I first saw a blog at PEX.

I wrote irregularly, I wrote ideas on top of my head, I criticized and made fun of people and of things. I had a reader one day and another and some more (some I don’t know what happened, a lot has gone). It became more enjoyable. I think we became friends. In a weird personal-but-impersonal way. I wrote for them and I wrote for myself. I was able to find people like me who felt my pain and wrote for and against my beliefs. Their comments I have treasured. I did this through college til I graduated and worked. I guess I neglected blogging in recent months but I am now back.

Most bloggers from before disappeared, concerned more about their lives. In a way, so did I. There are plenty of better things to do,  I suppose, than blogging.

Now, I will bloghop and the blogsphere has changed so much in the past 4 years.

I write now because it is fun and because I enjoy writing. I guess I may never publish a book and it is nice to know I have a spot on the world wide web that people may read. I stopped caring for regular readers, I write now for myself and I will keep on writing. Until inspiration departs me, yun yun eh! No pressure, no censorship, just me… me and my thoughts. Not entirely original all the time but it is still me!

———

PS. Visit Jennifer’s post for more details.

I was able to transfer all my old posts and you would think nothing has changed (except maybe this plain theme I am using).

I will be working on my theme on the following days (or weeks) or whenever I have more time. I just need to learn a few things about all these stuff.

Now, that I have less restrictions as far as visuals or scripts go, expect me to work on a better site.

I am so proud of myself.

But worry not! I will be here. Blogging is a lifestyle that I am not yet prepared to give up. I now realize that I like writing regardless if no one reads my posts. My first 5 months as a blogger nobody reads my posts, I write because I want to have something out there, an outlet for my ideas. And this, I do today.

I have been writing a lot in paper. I have been sending postcards through postcrossing. And I am happy so far. I have received postcards, I really like the ones from Finland. They have stamps that apparently have Braille on it. Cool.  The dorky stamp collector from High School is back.

I realized that after leaving college, I lost a great deal of endurance in writing on paper. After an hour or so, I found my thumbs, index and middle finger numb. Oh yes, I will try to write more on paper! I have been doing most of my writing on a keyboard and I have missed reading my own and other’s handwriting… an art on the brink of possible extinction.

I have also been drawing a lot. My girlfirend is an influence in my life right now and reminded me of how much I love to draw. Last night, I spent drawing characters from The Hobbit (JRR Tolkien) like Beorn and Gandalf, and from The Sandman (Neil Gaiman) like Death, Dream and Desire (I had some trouble working with him) and all was done with my own interpretative image. I think that’s good.

I was able to finally finish my short story and is the best one I have written (because it is the first that I was really able to finish). Had it sent and part of me hopes it will be published which I doubt due to (a) the flawed writing; (b) I sent it with a .docx extension; (c) I forgot to send my updated resume, and (d) parang NPA kami kasi baka lumipat ulit kami and we might be unreachable if they find my work even in the remotest way engaging.

My lover and I have decided to do letter correspondences. Yes, we are one weird couple. But we just give each other letters every time we meet (effort lang ang pagpunta sa post office) and she’s doing a better job than I do. It’s kinda romantic and I get reminded of Napoleon’s letters to Josephine that I have read long ago (and nobody make smartass quips about tyranny while I am a pacifist and all). She has these stationery from way back when little girls collect them because they were kawaii.

I was able to finish The Hobbit yesterday. It is a shame that after raving about the LOTR trilogy (yes, I have read the book) in college and it is only now that I have read The Hobbit. It was a fun read, only a bit sad that Thorin and Bilbo’s friendship had a wrong turn in the end. It was very sad. I have gained a new kind of respect for Bilbo Baggins being a young idealistic hobbit which was far from the aged one that I have sensed from The Lord of the Rings. The nature of the ring was not really fully explored in this prequel. But it was absolutely delightful and did not have the dark air that was on the more popular epic story.

I was able to finish Albert Camus’s The Stranger this morning. It got to me. It was also something I borrowed from meowy (she really knows my taste). In many ways, I understood Meursault because he exhibited behavior unlike most people. He was not judged fairly because of his inability to believe in God or show emotions like normal people. And he had to die! I hated the prosecutor, the sanctimonious people who surrounded him. He was sentenced to death and the basis of that was because he refused to cry during his mother’s funeral and the other testimonies for his character was ignored. He is a nice man, complacent about life and yet these people persecuted him because they did not understand him. It’s like how most people in the world are, they sometimes ignore facts and just get easily agitated by lesser people. While he may not be entirely innocent, he did not deserve that.

So this is the last post before I depart. I don’t think it would be that long. I will be mapping a lot of things in my life in the month ahead and I will be uber-busy.