Work is still the same, reason why I hate it.

I just realized something really common with people who have some degree of intelligence, not to say that they truly are, but people who have above-average intelligence, they are typically stubborn. Meaning, they think they are really smart. It is hard to argue with them. They don’t like people questioning what they thought about and it’s sad. Really.

At least for myself, I admit I am stubborn. I  hate self-important people who can’t let go, and who pretends they are not.

It is fairly irritating when they say “correct me if I am wrong;” then, you say they are wrong, and as hard as you try to make a logical point, thay say NO like I shouldn’t be arguing. Pakyu! Kung di lang ako magkakaproblema pag sinagut-sagot kita!

That is the sad thing about work. I need to get out of there someday. I think I want to hang out with people who admit their faults.

Oh yes. Some time ago, I was bored at work and I tried to read something not so conspicuous with non-work-related activities, and I ended reading an ebook written by no other than Marlene Aguilar. It is available on her website.

Yes. I was that bored. But worry not, I stopped reading it after a few pages in Chapter 1. The last thing I want is to be one of those fanatical Jason Ivler supporters.

All I have to say is that she can write well (and well does not mean GOOD), compared to the crap they publish these days.

If you are feeble-minded, you can be easily swayed by Aguilar’s accounts. She said somewhere, they are geniuses “daw.” People scoff at the idea. She is an artist, blah-blah-blah.

I never thought of her as crazy as most people say. She’s just as stubborn and self-important as you and me who think highly of themselves, whose morals and logic is confined to emotions and what is most convenient to those that matter, mainly, in her case, herself.

Too much angst in my life right now. I think I need a little dose of happiness.

Now, I am not sure if I should take this as a compliment or an insult. First, I am too poor to be coño; secondly, I do not want people to think I am coño; third, pang-masa kaya ako; and fourth, I speak advanced Filipino, my vocabulary of Filipino might not be as good as my Dad’s but in comparison with kids these days, they scratch their heads sometimes.

Then, to be asked to say something incorrectly, because I sounded konyo could be (a) ang galing ko lang mag-English; (b) pinagti-tripan ako; (c) binobola ako; (d) makita kung natural din ako sa sablay na English; or (e) all of the above.

So I smiled and said okay, and another smile, an no i-speak.

Letse! Sa Internet lang naman ako talaga English ng Ingles, and my webhost would not like that, too (TOS issues).

When I started this job, people were mostly speaking English, maybe because it is a BPO and we are going to be working with transcripts, so a good grasp of the English language is a pre-requisite as opposed with the English of those awful people na nakakasabay mo sa jeep na English ng English, and you just know they work in a call center. I think you can just tell whether a person is a natural speaker (I think based on the casualness of speech, even if he has an accent) or a wannabe (na gusto lang magpa-sosyal).

So back to when I got the job last year. People were all ispokening dollars. So I did not talk much. Even in my first call center, when people in our ACE class were CC veterans, I chose to be laconic coz I am scared to talk with my very obvious plebeian accent, that no amount of training could fix. Three years later, I still have serious issues with “TH” sounds. “Three trees,” anyone?

As I was saying, in my current job, the non-CC job with a lot of people good at speaking English, I preferred to not speak too much. There was even this girl I asked, with my most jologs elocution, “Pwede ba yun?” or something like that. And she answered with this perfect intimidating English.

After that, I chose not speak to her again. Kasi English, eh. She turned out to be the best trainee in our batch, who is nice, but later resigned to study.

There’s this other girl at work, who I spoke to in Filipino and answered back in scary-perfect English. It sounded natural, to be fair, and I, again, chose to avoid talking to her. Kakatakot. Anyways, this girl is weird. She’s pregnant and her belly is huge now, but she can wear high heels, like really high and the thin types you see on Hollywood actresses. She wears it like she’s on sneakers and SHE is HUGE.

After time, I thought my English has reverted to my college English minus the awful influence of call center training that I think is wrong. I mean French, British, American, Australian people have their own accent, so why can’t we? I was proud that I can now say “motion” as mo-shonn as opposed to moe-shun (the one with schwa [?] pheonetic).

Yesterday, my supervisor told me she thought I don’t speak Filipino. Really, I sometimes think I am walking two dimensions, randomly. Our office is weird sometimes.

For that, I thank you. While I am still bitter about Dick Gordon not winning, not even close, and I am aghast of everything going on, I stare at the TV. Sa susunod, di ko na susundan ang aking puso.

And I find amusement of media’s victory,because this is their victory as well. I see TV stars, I am reminded of Estrada’s inauguration.Yeah, I know, they are different.

Anyways, not minding the current events and my disapproval of everybody in the government, I mean every single one, and my growing irritation of Kris Aquino, let us celebrate the day!

For today, I will wear my favorite black shirt and go out on a dinner date with my favorite conversationalist.

Thank you, Noynoy, for what you’ve done. You have laid out a beautiful front of unity at a time where there really isn’t. Let us ignore how this government, just as before, represents the bifurcation of the classes in our country. I thank you for your self-righteousness and ignorant altruism, for as you say, you carried the obligation of being an Aquino, sacrificing whatever you say, to rise to the challenge of being Chief Executive after your infant stay in the senate. This, as willed by the people who placed Arroyo in her seat, is the voice of the people.

May the gossamer of illusion never fade and may it inspire us all.

May you learn from the lessons of the past, of your predecessor including your mother. It does not matter if I think you are an idiot, because we live in a democracy and the will of the people is to be followed.

Thank you. At least, I have a free day out of work and I will be watching, too, keeping my fingers crossed. Pag walang korap, walang mahirap. Sana nga yumaman na tayong lahat!

God, I hate Mike Enriquez’ voice.

Besides, masyado na akong matanda para maging biktima ng peer pressure.

I also bought two books. One is A Scanner Darkly, written by Philip K. Dick. I have not read a book of his and maybe it’s time.

I just noticed how often it is that 1 Corinthian 13‘s verse “Through a Glass, Darkly” seem to be used in a lot of media. I remember an episode of Daria and a Jostein Gaarder title paying homage to it.

Also, I bought Unwritten, a graphic novel. Since Gaiman‘s The Sandman, I have been cautious not to buy any serialized books but this one has a “1″ in the spine. So this leaves me no choice but to complete the series, or not. Hahaha! It is a nice read, but not the type of thing I am much interested in, because The Sandman IS good! great! better! the best! And I am not just acting like a fan boy, but because it is one freaking good comic series.

So in light of this wonderful opportunity, yesterday’s better-than-expected salary payout, and the extra day of not working in addition to two rest days, I bought DVDs. The most recent Naruto volume I could find. I have not seen Naruto for over a year, and I miss him; and 24 Season 1, for my parents who cannot seem to get enough of Jack Bauer.

I also bought some more DVDs. I got Batman Begins, because Meow has not seen it; Run Lola Run, because I heard it’s a good movie; Dogma, I liked it when I was in college; The Devil Wears Prada, because Meow liked the book; Taxi, because I want to see it again and I miss Luc Besson;   The Book of Eli, because I was not able to see the movie, and we wanted to see it then; and Contact, I have seen it, liked it, bought the book, liked it too, so I want a copy for myself.

I need to run errands as well. And I made a promise to myself to write. I will write about so many things.

Hopefully, I get to finish all of them. Starting today, I will try to save up. I won’t be buying anything anytime soon.

You know how it is when you have nothing to do, and then, wham! People are asking you, left and right, to go out, and you have other priorities to attend to. So I stood up two parties, and I have deadlines to meet for my non-work-related activities.

Anyways, Angono is quite nice. I think Meow is happy and is considering living there permanently. For her, the only place in Metro Manila conducive to living or having a family is UP Village.

I really have to agree with her, sorry. Manila is populated with amoral people and it’s scary. Call me self-righteous but people are really scary.

We ate at Jollibee yesterday and saw this kid with her parents. He looked weird, he had a serious face that had qualities of an adult. We estimate him to be around two years old, and he was freaky well-behaved. In fact, he was the most behaved kid I have seen in years. He was eating fries by himself and even reached for the oversized glass, so far from him and drank it slowly. Rest of details are long but he’s really quiet and well-behaved, I want to befriend the parents, but I did not, because of their adorable kid.

I want a baby just like him. Normally, kids scare me.

So I think she wants to settle there someday. I think Angono is nice, too, but I still prefer Antipolo because I was raised here.

We had some rounds, found places to drink, found this street that has sculpted slabs of stone in each houses, bought a pantograph for a hundred pesos, a coconut night lamp, had pizza that was not very tasty and she bought some quality books for 100 pesos each.

I am planning to study painting, if we get to find a nice art school. I suggested she try sculpting, since she has tried almost all other mediums.

I think she really loves Angono and loves her new room.

I have these planned projects to do. I have work. I have people to meet up with. I have a job. And I want to have time for myself, alone. So if any of you happens to know a bar, where a person can drink silently and not look like someone looking for sex, tell me about it. I want to have time alone

Sometimes, I get bored, yes, but why do they have to make all these stuff going on at the same time?

Kinukulit ako ng supervisor ko na pumunta sa teambuilding. Medyo makulit sya, she’s a nice person, I think, pero medyo makulit. Dahil yata sya ang organizer.

Medyo mahirap kasi ipaliwanag na I don’t want to go because I have a life and that extra day without work can make up for so many things, like sleep and other priorities.

I mean, I hear that team work is a big part of our appraisal, but I have a good working relationship with everybody there, I would like to think. I don’t see the necessity to be in Lake Caliraya to play parlor games to prove that.

I am thinking of a good excuse. Limnophobia (being specific) or Demophobia (partially true).  Maybe by telling them I am an environmentalist, who opposes exploitation and commercialization. Then they may argue, Lake Caliraya is a man-made lake. And I answer that that makes it worse. Then they will tell me Americans did it, and then I tell them I oppose what it represents.

I think I am addicted to Fantasy Kingdoms. I just bought a faerie dragon. It looks like a purple dragon with butterfly wings. I dont like the color that much but a dragon is nice, nonetheless.

Anyways, Farmville is boring and has stopped being fun when it became a chore. And it’s so darn complicated now. I mean I have a life and it takes too much from me, watching over so many things. The only thing that keeps me visiting it is the dog.

I think it is nicer to enchant land and build castles and harvest Eyes of Newt, Cattails, Mandrake and Snapdragons among other things.

Someday, I will get bored with it, too, just like almost every other application on social networking websites.

Anyway, pipila na ako tapos tinanong ko kung Antipolo ang pila, and there he is. So we were talking about classmates we had and how they are doing, and then the people who are abroad, we mentioned a lot of names, people I am not close with.

Then I mentioned a friend who is working in a cruise, who travels a lot.

He then said, “Sino sya?”

“Si Aizza,” I answered, “yung tahimik.”

“Sa tootoo lang,” he chuckled, “di ko na sya maalala.”

No matter what I hinted, until I dropped it, she was not remembered.

In a way, I am grateful that I seem to be unforgotten. Aizza is a friend of mine, who really did not touch many lives. She is really quiet and awfully below radar.

My friends are like that, below radar, except the weird architect who ha gone gay.

So maybe I was such a big dork that people still remember me. Ha-ha!

I sometimes wonder if people remember me and they still do. And they still call me by my given name, both of them, Jose Paulo, like a weird character from a telenovela.

Sila ang unang pumapansin sa akin, from the dorks, dweebs, jocks and intellectuals, it is nice to know that I am still remembered, despite my eccentricity and lack of proper social skills.

I don’t know why it’s such a relief to know. But, well, someday, they might forget me, too. At least for now, they know me. Hahaha!

Like Tuesday. We went to Cubao Expo, Meow bought a nice purple authentic Eastern parasol, with bamboo stem and everything, and an Obi (the kimono, we plan, will be bought next week).

There was this weird big man who kept talking to us about about this marketing event, first, to meow, then, to me.

Sometimes, I think weird people gravitate to Meow. I love her and everything but weird people really come toward her. See, look at me.

Talking to him was like an out-of-body experience, he shook my hand and talked about this marketing event that I think he thought we should or might be attending.

If I was alone, I would think that he may have mistaken me for someone else, but he kept talking to my girlfriend as well. I was not able to catch what he was telling her, I don’t think I will get it, either.

I think his English is OK. I just don’t understand it for some reason.

So he shook my hand babbling with his unusual accent, and I stood there listening and trying to make sense of what he was talking about. And then he realized I seem to be not understanding what he was talking about. Then he guessed what my nationality was… Indian, Pakistani… OK…. I am Filipino! Full-blooded! People mistake me for them.

Don’t get me wrong, he was nice, just really weird. Then he asked me about my career path (which reminds me of things that people ask to college students), and I said, I am an editor (Yehey! Nagkapakinabang din ang job title ko!).

I think he may have mistaken me for an Indian studying agriculture here.

It’s like one of those things that happened to someone else. Reading about it now, it does not seem SO weird but the situation then really was weird.

==========================

So last night when I went home, the FX I rode sounded like a clucking rooster.

It reminded me of the times we had chicken in the backyard. Nostalgic, in a way. It did not bother me at all. But later on, it got irritating when the clucking got louder and it did not sound pleasant anymore. Parang kinakatay na siyang manok. At least, it was consistent, from clucking chicken and chicken being tortured before the slaughter.

The driver said it was something in the motor. During that time at that point, I was already fantasizing about the FX exploding and my escape plan, the flames spreading slow or fast, my panicked seatmates pushing me outside and the proper way to get out from a running FX without being hit by other vehicles. I thought of how much burn damage I will get, and what to do with the rest of my life when I look like Ralph Fiennes in The English Patient.

Now at this point, if you have any knowledge about car motors and stuff like that, you’d probably tell that won’t happen. Of course, I have a great deal of imagination and I have little know-how on cars or any quad-wheeled moving contraptions, other than the toy cars like matchbox and those cheap ones you push backward against the floor and release.

Buti nakarating pa ako sa Antipolo. Akala ko titirik na.

Besides all the boring details of irritating transcripts and the awful OTs I hate doing, the highlight of the week is pretty much this, unless you count the rejection letter I received from an online mag for my story about self-loathing.

It’s been so long ago since my barber shop closed (I think it’s been 3 years now) and I still have not been able to find the barber shop for me again. My brother’s been recommending this place but I am too lazy to check it out.

So since January, since the last haircut at Fixed salon that offers haircuts at unbelievably exorbitant rates, I have not had a haircut.

Normally, I would know when I need a haircut when my parents tell me I look like: Matandang lalaki na may sampo nang mga anak. This time I ignored them and I think they’ve gotten used to my hair which now reached the nape of neck.

And people at work has been telling me I need a haircut, which I found complimenting. But coming from people, uninteresting to me, I am  further encouraged.

So I let it grow. Recently, my brother told me I look like some character from G-Force. I am not sure if that’s a compliment or not.

This weekend, we were planning to see Russel Crowe’s Robin Hood. I bought new glasses instead. We saw this place with really cool glasses that Meow loves (she, by the way, likes weird glasses, she has these glasses with really enormous lens). I learned that I have astigmatism and my eyes are really bad.

I bought new glasses. The round ones. I always liked John Lennon glasses, not because I want to look like him or I love him so much (but I like him, I don’t deny it).

The glasses that made the optometrist sing “Imagine,” and even the girl from Pizza Hut said she was surprised to see me. Brown John Lennon-looking… not bad. It is better than being called other things and I had plenty. My hair, after a haircut at Fixed, made me look like a Gerald Anderson or Jake Cuenca fan. So I was relieved to look more like a hippie. Hahaha!

So in the end, I learned something very important. If you want to see a movie, go there directly. But I still like my new glasses.